“The One Conversation I Had with Every Coach on the Hot Seat”

Nov 12

“Coach, this was a tough season — no way around it. In fact, we’ve had a few tough ones in a row now. And I want you to hear this from me directly: I know you’re working hard. I know you care about kids. I know you’re a good role model, and you pour everything you’ve got into them. But…”

That’s how the hardest conversations always started. Not with stats. Not with wins and losses. But with truth and empathy. Because being a head coach isn’t just about drawing up plays or running practices — it’s about managing trust. And once that trust begins to slip, especially with parents, everything else starts to crack.

When I saw the news about Nico Harrison being fired by the Mavericks, I didn’t focus on analytics or front-office strategy. I thought about trust — how hard it is to regain once it’s lost. It immediately reminded me of those conversations I’d had with head coaches who’d endured a few losing seasons in a row, when the complaints started rolling in from parents and even players.

That’s not just a professional sports problem. It’s a leadership problem.

There was no way the Mavericks could keep Nico Harrison. Once the fan base lost trust, the outcome was inevitable. The “Fire Nico” chants were more than frustration — they were a public verdict that the faith was gone.

In my years overseeing athletic programs, I’ve seen good coaches — great people — reach that same breaking point. The team might not have been winning, or maybe the energy had just shifted. Players frustrated. Parents whispering. The community restless.

That’s when I’d sit them down and tell them something they didn’t always want to hear:

“It’s not that you’re not working hard or that you’re not good for kids. You wouldn’t be here if you weren’t those things. But you must not lose the faith of the parents. Once they feel like their child is on a sinking ship, they’ll do one of two things:
1. Find another ship to put their child on (transfer), or
2. Become so loud to the administration and school board that change feels like the only option.”

We won’t hear “Fire Nico!” chants at a high school game, but it happens behind the scenes — and it’s just as effective. Once belief erodes, it spreads quietly.

And when that happens, no one can save you from it. Not even your athletic director.

The Truth About Leadership Trust

I used to tell coaches, “I can help you with almost anything — communication, culture, even rebuilding some relationships — but once people stop believing you’re the right person for the job, I can’t save you.”

There’s a threshold every leader crosses when the message no longer lands, even if the message is right. You can be good for kids, you can care deeply, you can be burning the candle at both ends… but if people have stopped believing, it doesn’t matter.

That’s what happened to Nico. Once the fan base lost faith after the Luka trade, the perception became the reality. Every decision after that was filtered through doubt.

The Leadership Lesson

Every coach, teacher, and leader needs to understand: you’re always making deposits or withdrawals in the bank of belief. Every conversation, lineup decision, or email home either builds or drains that account.

Once it’s empty, there’s no short-term fix. You can’t win trust back with one big victory or a passionate speech. It takes consistency, humility, and honesty over time.

What I Told My Coaches to Do

When a coach was on the hot seat, I didn’t tell them to panic — I told them to refocus.

Over-communicate. Don’t hide. Send a weekly program newsletter every Sunday evening with the full schedule for the week — practices, lifts, meetings, travel, and reminders. If anything changes, notify parents immediately. Not knowing or confusion creates frustration faster than losing ever will.
Take it a step further — communicate daily during the season. Create a parents’ group chat or messaging channel and post quick updates, photos, and moments that build connection. Snap a picture of your Player of the Day and share it there (and on social media). Celebrate effort, attitude, and growth. Be creative. Don’t let parents’ only source of information be what their kids say at the dinner table. Involve your assistant coaches and leadership council in helping run this communication — it’s a shared responsibility and a powerful culture-builder.
Listen before defending. Sit down with parents and players. Don’t justify — just listen. Ask for honest feedback and take notes instead of defending decisions in the moment. With players, use a simple “Start–Stop–Continue” Google Form where they can share what they’d like the program to start doing, stop doing, and continue doing. It’s amazing how much clarity and ownership that process can create.
Make it about more than sports. Rebuild trust by investing in the whole person, not just the athlete. Schedule a community service project once each semester. Build in daily leadership or character development — even five minutes a day adds up. Use your team group chat for more than logistics: share short mental performance or leadership messages that make your players better teammates and better people. When parents see that kind of growth, they stop counting wins and start seeing impact.
Do the next right thing. Not a PR move. Not damage control. Just one right action after another until the noise quiets.
Go the extra mile. Make the unexpected phone call. Show up early. Stay late. Write the thank-you note. Rebuild trust through actions, not announcements.

Because leadership isn’t just about schemes, stats, or strategies — it’s about belief. And once belief is gone, no amount of effort can cover the silence.

Final Thought

The lesson from Nico’s firing — and from every coach who’s been on the hot seat — is simple: protect the faith. Build it every day. You can’t fake trust, and once it’s gone, titles and résumés won’t bring it back.

You may never hear “Fire Coach” chanted from the bleachers, but you’ll feel it — in the hallways, in the emails, and in every meeting. And when it gets to that point, it’s almost impossible to win the trust back.

So work hard. Care deeply. But above all — protect the belief.

This is not just a part of your job, it's the essence of your leadership role and the key to your success.